Not Guilty by Reasons of Insanity
by Shikirou
Summary: When Deidara is being haunted by his past, and undergoing it from his stepfather, how will he react when everything around him changes right before his eyes? Rated M for some Yaoi, Shonnen ai, language, and rape.
1. Is this hell or life?

This is my second story with chapters. My first one, I deleted. I probably did this because I got bored of it, but I think the main reason was because I didn't really have a plot for it. This story, however, I have a plot and everything figured out. It may be confusing- especially in this chapter- but I can assure you, it will be cleared up in other chapters. So please bare with me!

And as usual:

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Naruto characters. That's why is why it's called fanfiction.

**WARNING:** This story (and this chapter) contains some of the following: profanity, rape, yaoi, shonnen ai, cussing, beatings, fight scenes, and certain references. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Edit: I got a Beta Reader! Yayyayay! Thank you SasoDei-love!!

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Not Guilty by Reasons of Insanity

Chapter one: Is this hell, or life?

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Deidara POV:

I slowly open my eyes to see black. Pure black was all I could see around me, there was nothing to distort the color, and I started to freak out in my head as I began to realize that I couldn't move. '_Shit,' _I thought. My eyes must have been as big as saucers as I tried so desperately to move my arms, '_What the hell? Why- Why can I not move?'_

I could feel my body- I was here. I was laying on what seemed like a bed with black sheets. I could obviously think, because if I could not, I wouldn't be freaking out here as we speak. I began to see a white silhouette moving in the distance of the black. A body, I believe, and after it moved up a little more, I proved to be correct. I am obviously confused as hell, because I am here, in the middle of fucking nowhere, practically sedated, and there is this person coming up to me.

The further it moved up, I began to see that it was my father, and he held a knife. I began to freak even more, and the fear was written all over my face, for he began to smirk when he was, what seemed like, a couple of feet from me. When he moved closer, he moved his face close to mine, and I could smell the horrid mixture of liquor and cheap cologne. He pressed his face into mine, and if I could have moved, I would have cringed.

He grabbed a handful of my long blond hair, still keeping his face pressed closely to mine. I wanted to puke as I took in a whiff of his scent a second time. I held my breath as he put the hair that he grabbed back down, and stroked it. I tried again and again to move my hands, feet, head, anything! I finally made an attempt to speak, but all that came out was a whimper; a childish little cry. It made me feel weak and helpless, just as it did when I was younger. It was like I was living my childhood again.

He finally took his face off of mine, and made a mock shrug. "What is it? Deidara, Deidara," the way he said my name made me sick, "Now, don't deny me of what I want. You know what will happen if you don't do what I ask."

I tried to speak once more, but again, all that came out was that same whimper. My eyes began to fill with tears of desperation. I could not move, speak, or do anything at all. All I could do was act like a defenseless little puppy. No, a puppy could have done more than I could.

"Come, now," he said, his sadistic smirk reappearing on his face, "I really don't think you want to disappoint me, Deidara-kun. That would just make me mad, and that... That would just ruin the moment."

My tears continued to trickle as I whimpered uncontrollably. I could not stop, nor did I want to.

He pressed his index finger to my lips, and I closed my eyes, and I got myself mentally ready for what he was about to do. He whispered, "Shush,"

He replaced the spot where his finger was with his lips. He removed his lips from mine, and I unwillingly opened my eyes. His breath was unbearable.

"Dei.. Dara...kun..." He said my name saying every syllable with a pause in between them.

He kissed me again as he tried to put his tongue into my mouth. I refused, and this made him mad. He pressed his face hard into mine and forced his tongue into my mouth, as I winced in pain. He put his hands onto my face, and moved his tongue wildly into my mouth. As the tears descended down my cheeks, they fell into the black, and they seemed to disappear into it.

After what seemed like ages, he stopped kissing me. That, though, was not reassurance that he was going to stop. In fact, he began to take of my shirt with his dirty hands to continue more into this disgusting "treatment". That was what he used to call it, and that is still what I refer to it as. After he removed my shirt and threw it into the black, and it, like my tears, disappeared too, he swiftly went to my pants and began to take them off as well, my underwear along with it.

His eyes seemed to marvel at how large and rigid I was. Saying as I am now sixteen, he was not used to the "new me". He began to stroke it, and I flinched as my member began to erect. I suddenly, and impulsively, kicked him in the chest. Inside I was happy that I was finally able to move, but I was quickly disappointed that I couldn't move my arms, chest, or head. I could hardly move my legs as it was. And I felt vulnerable, since I was completely naked and barely stopped my forty-two year-old father from doing oral sex on me. I prepared myself for his anger from my kick, but anything was better than this.

He, with the knife still in his hand, flung his left arm at my chest, and it went inside. I winced again, and bit my tongue in the process. Crimson blood tickled down my chest from where he stabbed it and I could taste the saltiness of my own blood. I held my breath as he clenched the knife hard with his hand.

"How dare you, you little bastard!" he hissed at me through clamped teeth. "You are a freak, yet I show you love!"

_'Love?' _I thought, _'Is that what he calls this? Love? Me being his little play toy and then his punching bag afterwards?'_

He grabbed my right hand and continued to yell at me, "This! This is what makes you a freak! No one! No one will ever love you because of this!"

The thing he was referring to, of course, was my hand-mouths. The thing that made every one practically hate me.

"Deidara, I will make you see once and for all that you are loved by no one!"

And, with that, he grabbed my hand and slowly made a deep cut down it where my hand-mouth was, all the way down to my wrist. After that, he went across it. My hand-mouth made sure to keep itself shut tightly as to not get cut on the inside as well as the outside. Pain was all I could think of as he slashed my other hand when he was finished with the first. When finished, my hands fell limply to my sides as the dark crimson blood bled down my hands, onto my legs, and into the darkness. My eyes filled with tears again, and my vision grew blurry and hazy and I began to black out.

--

Cold sweat rolled down my forehead and into the sheets. I sighed in relief as I slowly came back down to earth and realized that was only a dream. No- that's an understatement- it was a nightmare. I clenched my white sheets tightly with my left hand, and parts of the vivid nightmare went on a loop in my head. I should have realized that it was only a dream, but it was so real. I could feel everything in the dream; His touch... That smell... The pain. I quickly looked at my hands; they were untouched. I looked down, and was instantly shocked beyond belief. Was that... blood on my sheets? Was that not just a dream?

I shook my head and shoved the thought away as I stood up from my bed. Yet I couldn't help but wonder, how did that get on my sheets?

I sighed as I walked slowly to the door, opened it half way, and looked both ways before opening it completely to step out. It wasn't because of the dream that I looked outside before going into the hallway. It was my **new **father. Obviously every one finds me to be their perfect punching bag. My mother, on the other hand, didn't know what he did to me. I haven't told her because, unlike my birth father, she really loved him. It would kill her if she knew, and since we just moved out of our old house, I really didn't want to move again. At least, I wanted to give this school a try.

Even though Kaikou, my Mother's second husband, beat me, it was never as bad as my real father's. Kaikou never raped me or made me do anything; he just has a bad temper.

I grunted, "Un. I suppose I'm used to it."

And that, I realized for the first time, was what I would mutter to myself after a beating. I would always say, "I'm used to it," as if I needed to reassure myself that I am strong to go on with this miserable cycle that was my life.

I slowly made my way kitchen and looked at the white-trimmed clock on the wall. It was 4:34 am. "No wonder mother isn't up yet, un." I said to myself aloud as I began to open the fridge.

I put my hand into the cold fridge and picked out a soda. The tongue on my hand wrapped itself around the can when I put my grip on it. When I shut the fridge, I sat down on a chair next to the round kitchen table and thought about the dream again, looking at my hands. I didn't think these hands were that monstrous. But of course, I've had these hands for sixteen years, and I grew used to them.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of creeping footsteps down the hardwood floor of the hallway. Impulsively, I hid myself in one of the empty food cabinets that was next to the fridge. Since, for my age, I was fairly short and slim, I fit. I made sure that I didn't close the cabinet completely; I didn't want to be stuck in there all day long.

To my surprise, it was not Kaikou. Instead, it was my mother. She sat down in the spot where I previously sat before hiding. After a few moments, I realized that she was crying. I was tempted to get out of that cabinet right then and there, but I quickly dismissed the idea after realizing what an idiot I would look like if I crawled out of there. I was looking for a can of beans at four in the morning? Yeah, something tells me that wouldn't work very well.

I realized that she was on the phone after another few moments. _'I sure am glad I didn't get out.' _I thought to myself.

"... But-"

There was a pause, "Why? W-why didn't... Why didn't y-you tell m-me before?"

There was some loud talking at the other end of the phone, but I still couldn't make out what was being said. I realized that it was Kaikou talking. Why wasn't he here? I suppose he might have had a business meeting or something to attend to. Or maybe he's cheating on her... maybe that's what they're talking about right now. That would explain the crying.

"I can't believe you!" she half-yelled, trying to not wake me up. She still thought I was asleep.

"You promise you won't do it again?!"

Another pause and then the loud talking came back from Kaikou.

"... That's what my last husband said, but it was all lies!"

This part, I heard, "I am not like him. I will not hurt Deidara. I love Deidara, and I love you."

When I heard that, I began to choke and hack in shock. What the **HELL **are they talking about again?! Me? He admitted to the beatings? She actually _told _her that he was beating me like my real father? And the worst part is, she actually **believed **him!!

My vision grew hazy again, and I looked down at my hands. My heart pounded against my chest when I saw the blood and scars on my hands like in my dream. I blinked, not believing what I was seeing, and they bled more, the blood on my clothes and on the wall of the cabinets. I began to hear a ringing sound in my ears as the blood-covered door began to open and I saw my mother, but her face... her face was burned and bloody. I screamed in horror of her grotesque face. What the **fuck **is happening?!

The ringing noise suddenly stopped, and she began to speak, her voice raspy and hoarse, "This is what happens when you play with fire, Deidara."

At that moment, when she finished her sentence, her face began to catch on fire. "Leave me alone!" I screamed, closing my eyes and covering my ears. Ignoring what I yelled, she grabbed my wrist.

"Leave me alone!!" I repeated, "Leave me alone! Leave me alone! Leave me alone!!"

I continued to scream that line, over and over and over, until I blacked out.


	2. Me, myself, and a hospital

Alright, well I got a couple of reviews about wondering where this fanfic is going, and don't worry, I have a plot all planned out! I wouldn't even think of making a story without a plot. But I want to keep all my readers guessing and wondering what is going to happen next. I appreciate your thoughts though and if there is anything you think that will make this story better, TELL ME! I will listen to your opinions!

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Deidara POV: 

I hear voices all around me. There are... Three. Three voices, and they were loud; abnormally loud. It made my already aching head scream to make it stop by throbbing consistently. My eyes feel heavy as I open them slowly to reveal Mother, Kaikou, and a female doctor. The doctor was talking to both of them about me, obviously, saying something about how I was hallucinating probably from the loss of my real father, which was, completely incorrect as I'm sure you know. I would have made an attempt to say so, but the urge to listen to them talking about my "problems" overpowered the thought completely.

"You see," the doctor started, "he most likely misses his father, despite previous problems. I am guessing that you, Kaikou, are another problem in his life, saying as you are the replacement of his father."

He simply nodded to her. He probably couldn't care less about what she was saying, and I seriously doubted he was listening at all.

"Also the lack of seeing you, Niaka, and being able to talk to you. Saying as he is still a child, being sixteen in all, he still needs to be able to communicate with his parent's to vent off his feelings and concerns. Especially since his real father died. That is the indication since he had that hallucination before. With that said, I suggest that we prescribe him some medicine, and that he stay under close watch at a psychiatric hospital for his own safety. He will be able to talk to psychiatrists and talk with fellow teenagers his age with the same problems."

Mother looked down at her feet, fake tears in her eyes. She looked back up, "Well... the thing is, doctor, that he is somewhat of a loner... Because of-"

I mumbled something to stop her from continuing the sentence. She was going to say something along the lines of, "because of his freak hands." What I said though, I wasn't sure of. It was merely a mumble of a sentence.

"Deidara!" Mother screamed. Her scream was so loud I thought my ears were going to bleed and rip of my face as my head rolled under the hospital bed. And even her smile was enough to kill the happiest of people. The doctor was not better either. Actually, I think she was worse than Mother.

"Oh, you are up, Deidara-san! I'm so glad you are awake! While you were sleeping, you're parents and I were talking-"

"Kaikou is not my parent, un." I shot back nastily.

She looked bewildered at what I said, as if what I said wasn't the truth, but it was to me at least.

"... Deidara..." Mother said after a moments of silence, her tears ceased. Kaikou said nothing as still had that blank look on his face.

'_Of course', _I thought, '_Kaikou wouldn't say anything at all. Ass hole.'_

Mother's face had that "how could you?" look. It made me even more pissed off the longer I thought about it. I decided to talk about something else instead of _him_. The silence was killing me as it was.

"How long, un?"

The nurse looked confused, "How long what?"

I sighed, "How long have I been asleep?"

"A little longer than two days..." she answered back after awhile.

My eyes were instantly filled with shock. Two days?? No wait, **longer** than two days? What happened? What did I do? ... Could she **be** any less specific?!

"What the hell happened to me, un?" I yelled, my voice raised a little.

"Listen, Deidara," Mother began, as if trying to sooth me, "I think we've made a decision that we are going to put you... in a psychiatric hospital for a while..."

That was it. I am officially pissed off beyond thinking straight. **She** made the decision so easily! And she didn't even consult me about it first? Does she seriously not care about me that much?

I was furious, "Since when did you decide? The doctor just recommended it for Christ's sake! **You** just decided right now to dump me all by myself in a psychiatric hospital!"

I realized my voice was shaky and was rising more and more as I continued to talk, "All I wanted to do was go to a school and be normal for once, un! And you won't even let that happen! You already know what Kaikou does to me! You don't even care about me, un!!"

She said nothing nor did Kaikou. I realized that there was tears rolling down my eyes and I wiped them with my arm.

"Just leave, un," I said turning my head, to the left so I didn't have to look at their pathetic faces another second, "I don't want to see you anymore."

I heard Mother crying again, and Kaikou comforting her by saying her name softly.

She obviously wasn't finished yet and she was withering my patience away, as if it weren't already gone.

"Leave!" I yelled once more, making her jump.

She tried to get me to look at her by putting her face closer to mine while sitting on the hospital bed I was on.

"Please understand, Deidara, I-"

"Leave!" I yelled, tightening my hand into a fist around the covers of the white hospital bed and turning my face away more, practically forcing her away from me.

At this point, the doctor stood up and led them to the door, almost forcing out of the door. All the while I was tightening my grip on the covers and crying. I knew I looked like a retard, crying and rocking myself back in forth on the hospital bed, but I didn't care. I was trying to make myself feel better, and at the moment, this was the best I could do to sooth myself. Mother certainly didn't help the situation I was in, and I highly doubted that a psychiatric hospital will help.

Everything happened to fast... And I don't even know what was real and what was fake. That dream, Mother, the hospital, and now I'm going into some mental institution? I'm not crazy! I don't need to go to a psychiatric hospital! I don't _want_ to! And I don't want these fucking hands any more! I want to be normal! I don't want my past and I don't want my life!

I was murmuring these under my breath over and over again until I felt the presence of the doctor in the room.

She sat down next to me, but I still rocked back and forth. I was no longer talking to myself, but I still felt the hot tears coming from my eyes and landing on the hospital sheets.

"Deidara-kun... you _need_ to go there."

_'I don't "need" to do anything,'_ I thought, but said nothing. I merely rocked myself back and forth and cried. If I said something, I would just end up exploding again.

"... You will go in the morning. I told your Mother and Father to pack up some of your clothing for your stay."

Tomorrow? Wait... What day is it? And what time is it? Damn, I am really messed up right now.

"It's Tuesday, January 23. It's around 8:00 pm right now." she said as if she read my mind, "And I advise you to get some sleep, Deidara-kun. We will wake you up at 6:30 in the morning and take you to the hospital. It's an hour drive there, so we probably won't arrive until 8:00 in the morning or so."

I nodded as I finally stopped myself from rocking back in forth. I would happily oblige to sleep, especially right now. I am tired, despite the two-day sleep that I supposedly got. Laying my head back into the soft hospital pillow, I began to imagine what it's going to be like in the psychiatric hospital. I suppose it can't be that bad. At least I won't get to see Kaikou and undergo punishments for a while. And with those thoughts in my mind, I slowly began to drift into a comforting slumber.

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I could hardly remember this morning. I know I was awaken by a nurse, I got dressed, and I rode in some one's car to the psychiatric hospital. I believe it was called Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital. 

As I sat on the bed of my new, some-what bland room of my new abode, I couldn't help but think of my newest dream. Three "dreams" or what they call, hallucinations, have happened so far, all of them equally as horrible and vivid as the rest. I closed my eyes and began to reflect on the dream:

I turn to my right, and see my Mother's blonde head of hair fall to the ground, her frail body soon after. Her legs and her arms were sprawled on the hard-wood floor, her hair in a knotted mess in her face. I hear my father's voice roaring at her, saying unspeakable things. Upon hearing his voice, she tried to stand up, and crawl. Of course, her resistance was futile, and he even said so. He grabbed her hair to lift her head to his face to scream again at her once more, and finish was he started. What she did, I do not know, but all I know is, I have to stop him. I realize as I yell something to make him stop, that I will probably get beaten as well for defending her, but if I didn't say something, her face would soon be unidentifiable.

Once I pleaded for him to stop this meaningless beating, he began to laugh, as if what I said was funny.

"You see this, Niaka, our son is trying to defend you." he laughed again before speaking, "How pathetic!"

Mother merely winced as he threw her back into the ground and then he turned back to me.

"Now I will give him what he asks for!" he roared, "I know you want it too, Niaka! I know you don't get enough action from me! Here," he began, his sadistic smile seemed to come back from the first dream, "I will let you watch and enjoy the show!"

He turned back to her, and pushed her body up against a wooden dresser, her head tilted. When he turned back to me, I quickly ran towards the door. I fumbled with the door nob, my heart beating with an adrenaline rush. I felt sudden pain go to my head as he grabbed my hair, as he did with Mother, and thrust me toward the ground.

He sat on top of me, and like in the first dream, he began to take my shirt off of me and he threw it on the ground. I turn to see my Mother, he face turned in disgust at what he was doing to me, yet she said nothing. I felt his sweaty hand pull my face back to his, and he began to kiss me roughly. This time, I did not resist his tongue from entering my mouth and touching mine. I did not even resist him from taking my pants off. He seemed more rough this time, I guess it was from the previous beating he gave Mother.

The reason I didn't resist was because I didn't see a point in it. I couldn't go anywhere, and at least I wasn't getting beat or anything worse. And Mother would say something to stop him... Right?

I was wrong. He continued to go on, and all I could think of was why mother wasn't saying anything. I could smell the horrible smell of alcohol as his lips traveled from my lips to my stomach. I groaned as me made his way back up to my lips as a sign of imploring him to stop.

And that's when I woke up. It was not quite as traumatizing as the first dream, but nevertheless, it was painful to be in. It wasn't just Father that made the dream unbearable, but it was also Mother. Something similar to this happened before, and that was what made the dream so terrible.

I sighed as I got up from the bed and walked around the small room. I was ordered not to leave the room until I was properly introduced to Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital. I walked over to a small mirror that was on the wall and studied my looks. My hair was somewhat messy, in my half ponytail, my blueish eyes looked cold and bleak. I turned my head away suddenly as I heard a ruckus going on outside of my room.

Hearing a screaming, I opened the door and saw a boy with reddish hair and hazel colored eyes. His white shirt had crimson on it, probably blood, on it and was kicking and screaming at the doctor's that were trying to hold him down. The doctors where winning.

"Just let me finish the fucking job!" he screamed as he yanked his arms around in the doctor's hands.

I realized from what he said, and the evidence was everywhere, that he was the one causing the blood. When I figured that out, I felt a sudden sadness come over me. Why would some one cause their own pain? No one was forcing him, so why? I just can't understand why some one in perfect condition would purposely cause what I **had **to go through on purpose.

It was, what people call, a _cutter._

When the doctor's dragged him down the hall, he looked at me. His eyes... they looked like mine did; cold and bleak. He no longer tried to fight back, or rather, he could fight back, because he was given a shot to calm him. I instantly recognized the doctor who gave him the shot as the doctor who told me to wait in my room. He saw me and gave me a sign to wait a moment.

I nodded to him and shut the door, and it didn't seem like long before he came back.

"Sorry about that," he apologized, "he doesn't normally do this..."

I laughed inside and thought, _'Well, this is a psychiatric hospital.'_

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Reviews will make me happy! Lawl.

And if you want me to improve my story in the next chapter, please tell me. And if you have questions, ask! I will gladly answer them!


	3. Scorpion

Okay peoples! We're getting into Sasori's point-of-view now! Fwee! Lmfao.

Anywho, this chapter is shorter than the other, I know, but I am (hopefully) going to put the 4th chapter up either tomorrow or Thursday. And it should be pretty long, around 3,000 words or so. This one is a little short 2,000, but all my other chapters are over 2,500 words... That's all I got to say except the warnings.

No yaoi, just uhm... how do I put this... choice of words? Gomennasai.

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Sasori POV: 

Fucking bastards. Why the hell can I not just finish the job that I've been oh so desperately trying to finish? What business is it to them anyway? They don't give a shit... they're just paid to. I've been here too long anyways. Six fucking months is long enough. I guess this little move I did won't let me come out any sooner.

I start to scratch my scalp, putting my hand through my reddish hair, and I began to make a scab by scratching vigorously in one spot. I guess this was my nervous tick, but it seemed more like my other way to deal with not cutting myself. Blood comes, and it leaves pretty, but less noticeable, scabs that I can make bleed whenever I feel the want for blood.

I smirk as I look at my somewhat bloody hand and fingers by examining them in the air. I wipe the blood on my pants, not caring if the doctors see it later. I look at the light blood stain on them and I began to smile incredulously as I realize for the first time that the blood from my scalp was much lighter than the blood from my arms. It made me wonder what blood from other places looked like. Like the blood from one's insides, like where the heart is. Is it darker or lighter the deeper inside you go? I suppose the blood is darker, because when I cut my arms, the blood is significantly darker than from my scalp.

The light above me flickered for a moment, disrupting my thoughts and angering me. I want to leave. Now. This place has tired me greatly and the people make me want to die more than before. If Grandmother Chiyo thought this place was going to help me, she was extremely mistaken. If they think I'm so mentally deranged, then they need to take a second look at Gaara and maybe compare us for a moment. Now **he** is officially the world's most insane person. I laugh to myself, Zetsu, too. They're both pretty insane.

Sadness suddenly comes over me as I realize that I really don't have any friends at all. I never really did, so it shouldn't come as such as big surprise to me, but it did. The only "friends" I ever had were just the kids that'd except me for who I am, but they never were some one that I could just trust and call a friend. I lost contact with them when I came here because I can't talk to any one but family members outside of the hospital. Not that I really wanted to talk to them anyways, but I guess it'd be kind of nice to talk to some one who wasn't berserk. I'm not saying that I don't deserve to be here, but I sure as hell didn't deserve to be here as long as I have. I'd pray to God to have some one that understands me, but I think I stopped believing in him a long time ago. Time has passed, and nothing has changed. I'm not sure if I expect it to, but I sure hope it does.

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Deidara POV: 

I smiled at the doctor. He seemed really nice. He was wearing green hospital scrubs and white tennis shoes and his hair was brown in a ponytail. Male, of course, but he had long hair. Nevertheless, it was a lot shorter than mine is. He had a long scar on his face that stretched from his right cheek to his left cheek. Despite the scar, he looked nice. His eyes released a sense of happiness and cheerfulness. I suppose he needed that to work here in a psychiatric hospital.

"Well, I can't say I'm used to it, but I suppose I will soon, huh, un?"

He gave a small, short laugh, "Well, Sasori-san is a very nice person... He just has some problems, which is why he is here. Every one here has _something _wrong."

"Sasori?" This wasn't meant to be a question, but it came out as one. I was really just repeating his name. It sounded riveting and I couldn't help but say his name aloud. Scorpion, eh? That's really, _really_ interesting.

"Yes, he is next door to you." he smiled again, "By the way, I am Doctor Iruka."

I nod, not really needing to introduce myself. He already knew. In fact, he knows pretty much all about my whole life. I don't think he really needed to know, but it's his job.

"Well," he started, "let's get you introduced to Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital."

He said this so cheerfully, it sort of bothered me. Nevertheless, I smiled and nodded as he opened the door for me. No sooner as we walked out of the room, another doctor with grayish hair wearing a doctor's mask come out and started to talk. There was an urgent sound to his voice, but I couldn't see his facial expression because the doctor's mask he was wearing was covering a great deal of his face.

"Doctor Iruka, Naruto-kun's second personality is coming out again."

Iruka sighed, "Kyuubi, hmm?" he asked.

The other doctor nodded, "Yeah. I think the other nurses and I need you're help. I don't want him to hurt any of the other patients. Sasuke was trying to calm him down but it's not helping."

He nodded and turned to me, "I'm sorry, Deidara-kun, but I need to leave you to take care of this." he turned back to the gray-headed doctor, "Will you please get some one to watch Deidara-kun and get him introduced to the hospital, Doctor Kakashi?"

He nodded, "Follow me, Deidara."

I followed him, not quite sure if it was always this hectic here. He led me to what looked like a small waiting room. That's precisely what I was going to do- wait.

"Wait here for a moment while I get some one to get you introduced."

I merely nodded as he left the room, not sure when he was coming back. I hoped he wouldn't bring back another doctor or else I might be doing this all day long.

* * *

Sasori POV: 

I sighed as Kakashi came in. Even though wearing that mask, I could tell that he was smiling from underneath it. Why do all of these fucking doctors and nurses and psychiatrists have to be so smiley all the time? It's really annoying.

"Are you feeling better, Sasori-kun?" he asked.

I mocked smiled, "Of course!" I said sarcastically, "I just changed my mind about how I feel about this place and I feel as happy as a school boy! I just **love** this place more than life itself!"

He half-laughed at my sarcasm, "I'm glad you're feeling so happy."

I rolled my eyes.

"Listen, we really need you to help us out here. But of course, it's only if you feel up to it. Don't feel obliged or anything..."

I sighed deeply, "Get to the point."

"Well," he started, "We have a new kid here and all of us doctors and psychiatrists are really busy... And we were wondering if you would like to introduce him to Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital for us."

I laughed in my head when he said "if you _would like to _introduce him," I mean, of course I don't _want to, _but do I seriously have a choice? ... Let me see...

I mock yawned, "Naw... I don't really feel like it."

Here it comes;

He frowned, "Well... It really wasn't a question..."

I knew it.

"Oh, so I don't really get a choice in the matter? How obvious."

"Come on, Sasori."

I didn't move from the hospital bed. I merely sighed.

"Here," he began, "I'll make a deal with you then. How about I give you an extra hour of free time instead of one of the classes you have... Your choice."

I didn't really call that a "deal" but I knew that if I said no, then I'd still have to do it anyways. So, an hour of doing absolutely nothing it is.

"Whatever." I said, obviously not satisfied with the offer. I got up from the hospital bed, and immediately began to stretch my legs.

"Alright then, Sasori-kun. He's in waiting room number 1."

As he began to walk out the door, I stopped him, suddenly remembering that he forgot to mention his name.

"Well?" I asked.

He looked confused, "... Well what?"

"Well, what is his name?"

He took a moment to say his name, as if he forgot it or something. It's not completely unlike Kakashi. As he was almost out the door I heard him say, "Deidara."

That's an interesting name... Unique. Kind of like my name.

I laughed as I grabbed another shirt to change into. My shirt had stains all over it from previous "activities" as I'm sure you know. I make my way to the door, but I am stopped by something. There was something urging me again for pain... for blood. I instantly look down at my arms, but they are wrapped from my previous cutting. I laugh again as I slowly unwrap my left arm and look at the beautiful scars. Big ones, small ones, deep ones- they are all memories and they unfortunately won't stay, like my art. I sigh, oh well. I can't scratch them now, so I re-wrap them and walk out the door.

* * *

Yes, yes, I told it was quite short. I've started the next chapter already, so it should take that much effort to finish it... It just depends how much home work I'm given, so if I have home work, blame my math teacher / 

Please leave reviews!

--Oh and sorry for any mistakes... I was in a hurry.


	4. First impressions are down the drain

2928 words! That's really not much, but it's a record for me! I could've stopped anywhere I wanted, but I kept going. lol. Well, I hope you like it. Here's the warning, feel free to skip them and read the story below. Lmfao.

Warning: The following chapter/story had a lot of cussing in it. I blame it on one certain character (you probably know who I'm talking about) and furthermore it is really Kishimoto's fault! No, yaoi, by the way, sorry.

Enjoy!!

* * *

Deidara POV: 

I stared at the white wall in the waiting room blankly. I was bored, but I wasn't quite sure if I actually wanted some one to introduce me here. I think that we've already established this, but I don't even want to be here. And technically, I don't think any one really wants to be here. If they do, they **are** actually mentally ill.

After about fifteen minutes or so of waiting, I realized that I was going to get introduced to Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital whether I liked it or not. I say that because that red-headed kid I saw before, who I was told most recently is named Sasori, came into the waiting room. He didn't look quite happy. I am guessing he doesn't want to introduce me here. Well, I hope he knows that I really don't want to be introduced in the first place. But, I suppose he was forced by that doctor, but I can't be for sure. If he wanted to introduce me, he sure had a way of hiding it.

When he first walked in, he had a big scowl on his face, but his eyes looked the same as before. His face was kind of stoic. It was quiet for about a minute until I decided to say something to brake the silence. I don't like silence.

"Hi, un, I'm D-"

"Deidara, I know." He interrupted rudely, "Doctor Kakashi is making me introduce you to the hospital. So, don't think that I want to."

I was obviously dumb-founded by what he said. I couldn't find anything to say back. I kept finding myself looking at his wrapped arms, and I knew that was rude. I didn't even know whether to be mad, sad, or what. To be honest, I was sort of scared of the guy. But luckily, I didn't have to say anything.

"Not to sound rude, or anything. I just don't feel like be _made _to do anything at all. Especially after what happened... I'm sure you saw..."

I nodded lightly, "Yeah, un..."

There was an awkward moment of silence between us. He doesn't seem like a very big talker. Damn, that's an opposite already. I can't stand not to talk. I decided to brake the silence again.

* * *

Sasori POV: 

"What was that all about, anyways? I mean, you kinda just freaked out... " the blond boy asked.

This question bothered me, and it showed. Fuck the question, the **boy **bothered me. I haven't even talked to him that long and already I don't like him. First off, he hardly deserves to be called a guy. I mean, look at him! What guy has long hair like that? And is he a emo wannabe or something? Sure seems like it. Wearing skinny jeans, eye liner, and black fingerless gloves doesn't make you emo. I'm not trying to say that I think of myself as emo, but a lot of people would consider me as such- having red hair, eye liner, my cutting addiction and etcetera.

I wasn't going to answer the question, and I was surprised that he actually thought I was supposed to answer that. If he expected me to, then he was greatly mistaken.

"I don't think I need to answer that question." I practically hissed at him.

He looked down at his feet for a second and I thought he was going to cry or something, but no, he just looked back up and smiled at me. There was something about his smile, I noticed, that it wasn't like Iruka's smile, or any of the other doctors or psychiatrists here. Unlike theirs, it didn't seem really sin sire. It wasn't a shy smile in the least, but his eyes... They just weren't cheerful. They were bright blue, but the brightness-the happiness- was nowhere to be seen. But nevertheless, he was smiling, so obviously I haven't been stern enough.

"If you think that deserved an answer, you're a dumb ass. How would you like it if I asked you about _your_ problems and why you're here?" I asked him rudely.

"How about you deepest, darkest secret why we're at it." I added with a grunt.

Of course, I didn't really mean what I said, but the boy answered it anyways. His answer, to tell you the truth, shocked me.

"Well, un, I don't see anything wrong in telling you. You seem okay, un, and even if you weren't, I don't see what's so bad in telling the past. What's done is done, and talking about it won't change anything, un."

I kept my face stoic and said nothing for a little while. I tried to find something to say that might anger him a little. He's seems a little too talkative for me. I can brake that habit if I piss him off enough.

"Anyways," I began, "I'm going to tell you this now, so I don't have to tell you this later on. But since I've been here longer than you, and since I'm going to be showing you around here from now on, by force," I added, "then I am in charge of you. You can't tell me what to do, that's my job here. You got it?"

He gave a slight smirk, "Whatever you say," he paused a moment, "Danna."

I literally laughed at that. How can he still be so nice when I am obviously trying to piss him off? And calling me his _Danna,_too?

He looked rightfully confused at my laughing.

"What, un?" he asked, his lop-sided grin now gone.

"How can you still talk to me so nicely?"

"I'm just being friendly." he said with the smile back on his face. He said this so naturally, as if we've already been fully acquainted and have been long-time friends.

I smirked, "Does it look like you need to be friendly to me? Do I really look like I need your friendliness? Have you seen those doctors? I think I've had enough "friendliness". And what's up with the Danna thing, hmm?"

"Well," he started, "I'm not one of the doctors, now am I? It looks to me that you need to be talked to by some one sane you're own age. And most people that are sane are generally nice people."

I noticed he neglected telling me about the whole "Danna" thing.

"And what makes you sane? You're here aren't you?"

He gave a slight laugh, "Just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm "mentally ill". That's a little harsh, isn't it? Every one has problems, un. I think you're sane... You just have problems. Like me, un."

I smirked again, and chuckled slightly, this conversation was amusing me now, "How can you tell that? You've just met me, and so far all I've been is an ass."

"For starters," he began, "Your eyes aren't like the other peoples' I see moping around the halls and in the rooms here. Your eyes aren't crazy looking, like their eyes- your eyes are kind of like mine. They look sad, and glazed-over. That's probably because you've gone through rough times, which would explain your bandaged arms from your previous "accident". We've both been through rough times, and been through depression, but that doesn't mean that we're mentally ill... You seem sane to me."

This boy... He still shocked me. How can he can read me like a book, yet I can't even predict what he's going to say next? And this is the most I've talked in a while. But right now, I didn't know what to say. Should I be nice? Should I be rude? Should I say nothing at all? Then again, I don't think I remember how to be nice- just how to be rude. Ever since I've been in this hell, that's the only way I've acted towards people.

"But what I don't understand, Danna, is how come you cut your self because of those problems. Causing physical pain won't help your mental pain, un."

I quickly glared at him, at a loss for words.

As he started to walk towards the door, he said, "It's not a question, Danna. So please, un, don't answer."

He opened the door and held it out, as if waiting for me. I stood in the same spot, though, still not quite sure what to say... what to do.

"Are you going to introduce me to this place, un?"

I quietly nodded and began to go out of the door and made my way in front of him.

* * *

Deidara POV: 

He pointed to every room, "This is the lunch room, this is the introduction room, this is the dance room, the rooms down that hallways are all psychiatrist rooms where a group of people go in and talk and such,"

We stopped, "and this room," said the red-head, pointing, "is the art room. The name speaks for itself. Kakashi told me already that we have the same schedule, so this will be your first period class."

"How many classes do we have, Danna, un?"

He sighed a little bit, "Well, they're not really classes like when you go to school. We only have four, and that includes a lunch period. We only have classes on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Friday is when we have to talk with the main psychiatrist and talk about our "problems". We all hate that day. Sunday we can talk with our parents or relatives and on some special occasions we can go places with them. Wednesday, though, is our free day, and we all pretty much worship that day because most of our classes suck. Except art." he said with a huge smile plastered across his face.

"You're an art fan, un?" I asked, surprised that we found something in common so fast.

"Yeah." he smiled, "I love it."

"More than harming yourself?" I joked, referring to his breakdown.

He frowned, "Haha, very funny."

I giggled, "Sorry, Danna. As you were saying, un."

"I normally do art on my free days, too. Except I have no limitations when I do my art by myself. I mean, I don't have a teacher telling me what to do and such."

"What kinda art do you like to do, un?."

"I enjoy making puppets. Big puppets, small puppets- It's just my hobby. I like to do all kinds of puppets, too. Sometimes I do puppets of people I know, but like I said, it's a _sometimes _type of thing." There was a short pause, "Why are you so interested?"

"Oh," I said with a grin, "I like art, too. But I don't make puppets, un. I make stuff out of clay."

I moved my hands around a bit as if molding the clay.

"Really? What kind of stuff do you mold?"

"Well, I make birds and spiders and sometimes scorpions... It really varies. But it's not what I mold that is the true art, un." I realized that my grin was getting bigger, "It's what happens afterwards!"

"Wait... What the hell do you do afterwards that' s so artistic?"

I ginned, "I like to make it go boo-"

The brown-haired doctor, named Iruka, came up behind us and suddenly snapped both of our attentions..

"Oh, are you guys getting along okay?" he asked.

We half-smiled, not sure what to say. I think we're getting along alright, but I'm not sure if Sasori thinks so or not, so I wasn't about to answer that question. I'll let him say something.

He answered, "Sure. I got him introduced and everything already and now we don't really know what to do. Since today is Wednesday, it's a free day. But we don't really have anything to do. And Kisame told me today that the psychiatrists closed down the art room and supplies, but you know, you can't really trust Kisame."

"Yes, it's true. Naruto's second personality took control today and he grabbed the glue gun and well, other supplies as well, and it's just harmful. Especially since we are in an psychiatric hospital, you know. The psychiatrists just thought it'd be a better idea to close it for the day, although I don't think that it's quite a good idea to make every one else suffer for what Naruto did."

Sasori and I both seemed to sigh at the same time at the news. I wanted to show Sasori my art, but I guess it was probably a good thing that they won't let us use the supplies. I don't think they'd like the idea of having something explode here. Besides, I don't want Sasori to see my hands... I don't really want any one to see them here.

The doctor smiled yet again, despite the fact that we were both frowning, "Well, it's about time for lunch anyways, so why don't you take Deidara-kun back to the lunch room and let him get acquainted to the other patients here."

Sasori smirked, "Oh, it shouldn't take too long for the others to meet him."

I was confused, "Why do you say that?"

"Oh, you'll see." he said, that same mysterious grin on his face.

* * *

Sasori POV: 

I smiled when we walked into the some-what busy cafeteria. I knew that every one would be buzzing over Deidara because we never get anyone new here. Besides, Deidara also looks like a girl, and saying that all of the people here are fucking dimwits, they'll be literally dying to meet "her". I laughed at the thought. If anything was going to piss him off, this was sure to be it. I laugh at myself, I am so cruel.

Tobi came over to us, skipping. But when he was closer to us, he stopped as his eye through his eye-mask hole widened, "What is a girl doing here?"

Deidara's eye twitched, but he said nothing. I merely grinned.

Tobi was grinning underneath his mask and giggling, "And with Sasori-san!"

Haha, I almost- Wait, what? With me- A girl? What?!

"Sasori? You have a girlfriend?" he giggled.

I literally choked. I was about to say something, but I was interrupted by Hidan.

"Shit, Sasori gets a girl but I can't?! What the fucking hell is all this shit?! I'm a hella lot hotter than Sasori will ever be, and he gets this fucking hott-ass girl?! What the fuck?!"

By now, Deidara and I were both fuming. But oh wait, the wonderful parade here isn't quite over yet.

Kakuzu came up, "What the hell are you fussing over again, Hidan? Your fucking hair again or something? I swear I'm going to ki-"

He stopped when he saw Deidara. "Dude, what the hell is up with the fucking transves-"

"Is that girl or guy?" Zetsu chimed in.

"_Male or female, you sure do look tasty." _his other side added.

"I'm a boy!!" Deidara screamed. Every one stopped and looked at us, but Deidara continued.

"Just because I have long hair doesn't mean I'm a fucking girl! Only a fucking retard would think I'm a girl, un!"

There was silence until Kakuzu said something, "I knew you were a guy..." he coughed, "Transvestite."

Deidara's face was now as red as my hair, and he walked up closer to Kakuzu, "I'm not a fucking transvestite, ass hole."

Deidara stomped off and went out of the cafeteria, leaving an awkward silence between us.

Tobi whimpered, "Wow... He sure does have a bad temper... Almost as bad as Hida-"

He tried to stop himself from finishing the sentence, but it was far too late.

"What the fuck did you say?!" Hidan yelled, grabbing his shirt.

"... Nothing..." Tobi began.

"Damn right, nothing!" he hissed.

"Hidan," I said, trying to stop him from losing his temper completely and making even more of a scene than we already made, "Stop before the psychiatrists come and take you-"

"I don't give a shit, I'm going to kick this fucking pussy's ass!"

As soon as he said that, a psychiatrist came over with a shot in her hand.

"Now, Hidan. Think about what you're doing first. Isn't this something that you promised me you'd be able to take control of?" the psychiatrist said, trying to calm him. She didn't seem convinced, and neither did Hidan nor the rest of us. She new better than to think that stupid line was going to work. It didn't work the first time or any of the other times, so why the hell would it work this time?

He raised his fist towards Tobi, "Fuck it! I don't fucking care anymore! I'm probably gonna fucking be here my whole fucking lif-"

The psychiatrist quickly put the needle through his arm, instantly calming him. But of course he, being his stubborn-ass self, had to get the last word out. Well, rather, anything that was in the least bit insulting. Hidan gave the psychiatrist the finger before going out cold, dropping Tobi. I thought this was kind of pathetic and in some way funny.

Wait, I have to find Deidara. I laughed, today has probably been weird for him, but for me it was funny. A hell of a lot more interesting, that's for sure. Besides the fact that Tobi and Hidan insinuated that I was dating "her". Now that was just plain evil.

I quickly walk out of the crazy cafeteria and try to find Deidara. I don't really know where he is, but I have a hunch as to where he_ might _be. But, I can't be for sure.

* * *

I really had fun making this chapter. It's kind of fun typing Hidan's lines. Haha, I can just post whatever cuss word I want whenever and where I want. ... Well, it kinda comes on impulse anyways... 

Anywho, next chapter may be a little late because I have a science project I have to work on this week and I have to practice my part for this play... Yeah, I didn't really want to do it, but my damn teacher decided to have a voting thing in our class to see who the other students want for certain parts, and every one wanted me to be a main character for some damn reason. I'm not even that popular? WTF?

Well whatever, it's a grade, so I have to work on it. Gomennasai.

Review please and stuffs please!


	5. Am I really insane?

--Bow bow-- So sorry for the delay. Well, here is next chapter... It's rather short, though. Oh well. I promise a longer chapter next time. I have three papers I have to write for school, so I don't know when I'll be able to post it, but it should be soon... Hopefully.

Warning- There's a little bit of cussing... Uhm.. .Some blood mentioned... That's about it, really.

Enjoy!

* * *

Deidara POV: 

Right now a mixture of hate and fury is swelling up inside of me as I mold some of my art. This feeling reminded me of how I used to feel sometimes after a beating or treatment that Father gave me. This familiar feeling would often occur after the confusion washed over me as to why he did the things to me that he did. I started to smile, though, after I thought about what **I** did... I literally laughed out loud, and how I did it oh so cunningly.

My vision is suddenly blurred and my head begins to pound, making my whole body shake uncontrollably. I instantly drop onto the floor, my hand on my head. I whimper, trying not to scream audibly- If I screamed, danna would surely find me here.

I suddenly feel a cold hand rub my long bands to the side of my face, and out of my eyes, revealing my lame eye with my eye scope. I impulsively cover it with my hand and look up, only to see Father. I am, of course, shocked as hell to see him. And, like the scared little child I used to be, I instantly scrambled to the wall.

"I-I... H-how are you here, un?" I manage to stutter.

He didn't answer, but he continued to inch towards me. I was, right now, up against the wall of the art room, far away from the door. Not a really good position to be in.

I put my hands on the wall shakily to push myself to my feet. I realized my voice was also shaky, "I-I'm... I'm going insane..."

"Deidara," he began, "You're not insane- Yet. Did you really think that blowing me up- or rather, a futile attempt to blow me up- was truly going to stop me... "

I said nothing as thoughts raced through my mind. How is he here? Is this really an hallucination? It can't be an hallucination... It just can't be...

He laughed his sadistic laugh, "Deidara, don't blow me up. Just stick to what you're good at," there was a short pause, "_blowing_ me."

I opened my mouth to say something, but he took a larger step and put his face up to mine, taking my breath away. I smelt his horrible smell and I pushed him away, suddenly remembering the clay bird I made recently. He slammed his body against mine, slamming me hard into the wall. I groaned in pain, but he merely smiled. I can't take this anymore...

I rammed my head into his head , making him stop in pain and I bolted away from him, making my clay bird that I made earlier fly over to him.

"Fucking blow this." I said bitterly, the bird going off right after I said those three words, complementing the sentence.

The power of the blast spread to where I was, which was almost all the way across the art room, and knocked me into the door. The impact my back made on the door made me cough up blood and the blast itself made my face sting and bleed. The pain in my face was almost unbearable, and my arms felt as heavy as bricks as I forced myself up off the floor and onto my feet. I wanted to see this time- for the second time- if he was dead. Not that seeing his dead body was complete reassurance of his death.

The air was filled with smoke and debris and ash from my art, making me cough up blood even more. The crimson liquid spread across the floor like paint on an art canvas, and each of these coughs made me stop for a moment, only for me to return to the painful walking. I stopped- he was not there. I turned around, my eyes searching in panic all across the room. He's not in here... How? How is this possible?

I fall to the floor, on my hands and knees. I feel hot tears roll down my burning face and onto the floor. Suddenly there is a jolting sensation in my stomach, as if I was just kicked. I fell onto my side, still on the floor, and I hugged my legs into my chest.

* * *

Sasori POV: 

I walked down one of the halls of the hospital and turned to the right, on my way to where the art room is. I know that's probably where he went. Well, at least, that was were I would always go on the days when I was in a bad mood or mad. And since they closed it down for the day, there was probably no one else going to be in there.

I opened the door to the art room and walked in, and I see something in the the back of the room. Wait... Is that... Deidara?

I slowly walk over to him. His head is turned the other way, and I see that there is blood on his blond hair and on the floor.

"... Deidara?" I asked.

He was lying on the floor, hugging his legs. I noticed that a small pool of blood was coming from his blond hair that was knotted and was everywhere. He turned his head to face mine, and I could see blood coming from his lips and nose. There was black and red marks on his face and on his arms.

"I thought I killed him..." he muttered.

"What?" I ask, putting my knees on the floor, to bend down to him.

I realized that he was crying, "He came in here... He- he was here... I saw him... I used my art... I thought I killed him, un, but he disappeared."

I whispered to him, "Deidara, I think I need to get the nurses..."

I started to get up to get some help, but he put his gloved hand on my arm, stopping me from leaving. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a low moan.

"I have to get some help, Deidara."

His eyes widened and tightened his grip on my arm, "H-he's back!"

I turned around, but I saw nothing... There was no one. The door was open, but there wasn't anyone there.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked him, trying to take his hand off of my arm.

He pointed towards the door, "Right there! H-He's here! He's going to beat me!"

I looked back again and this time and I saw a doctor coming.

"No one is allowed in the-" he saw the mess in the art room and stopped. He walked up to Deidara, who was was making a futile attempt to hit the doctor. The doctor put his hand into his scrub shirt's pocket and pulled out something that looked similar to a remote control and pressed one of the buttons on it.

"We need help in the art room immediately!" he yelled into it and he returned his attention back to Deidara who didn't want any contact with him at all... What's up with him?

* * *

Deidara POV: 

I open my eyes and I see a white celling. What the hell happened?

_Flash!_

_Father was here._

_I blew him up._

_Blood trickled down my face. _

_Sasori comes in._

_Father comes back._

_Sasori does nothing._

_I scream._

_I black out._

_Flash!_

I sighed, remembering what happened. Why does this keep happening to me? Am I never safe?

I suddenly hear a noise, and it disrupts my thoughts. I sit up to see Sasori-danna. I'm rather shocked to see him here.

He notices I woke up, and walks up to me next to the bed."Are you feeling okay?"

I open my mouth to say something, but I am thrown into a fit of coughing. Danna tries to sit me up higher to stop my coughing. My coughing begins to cease and he presses a button on the side of my bed.

"We need a nurse, please." he said into it.

There was short pause.

"Why did you stay with me, danna?" I asked him.

He blushed, "Well... I sorta.. Uhh... I thought that this was kinda my fault... I brought you into the lunch room and stuff... You know..."

I decided to ask another question, "What exactly happened, un?"

"Well..." he started, "I walked in and you were covered in blood and started to say something about killing some one or something like that and then the doctor came in and you said that it was "him". I was freaked out, to say the least... What was all that about anyways?"

I know I said before that the past is past and talking about it won't do or change anything, but I didn't want to talk about it.

There was a knock at the door, and I was grateful. The nurse came in that my danna called in for and she smiled.

"Oh you're awake Deidara-kun!"

I sighed, "Yeah, un..."

"Are you feeling alright?" she asks me.

"Depends... What's your definition of "alright"?" I asked her blankly.

She frowns and I half-laughed, "Yes, I'm fine, un."

"Good." she said, "Tsunade-sama, our main psychiatrist here at Vanderbilt, wants to talk to you in a moment... I suggest you get changed or something soon."

I nod and she leaves.

Once she leaves, Sasori begins to laugh insanely.

"What's so damn funny, un?" I asked.

He shook his head and tried to stop laughing, "Nothing, nothing. Just tell me you're first impression of Tsunade, okay?"

I was confused, "Uhm... Okay."

I'm not sure what he's talking about. What is she crazy or something? No... She's a psychiatrist, so that' s not it... Well, I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.

* * *

--Has nothing important to say-- 

Uhm... Review please!!

Hehe, thanks for all the reviews I have, too.


	6. Doctor Tsunade

Okay, I have a many reasons why it took my forever to post this chapter.

First off, I'm failing math with a fucking 65 right now, and I am having to go to tutoring after school every day and early in the morning. And then I'm having some family problems so I had to go to my cousin's house for the past two weeks to live because my mom thought that it'd be a better idea than to stay home where she thinks that I am in "danger." They don't have any Internet on their computer there and my school blocked this site so I had to type this chapter at the Library. I also broke my arm and so I had to type this with one hand and I feel like shit. This past month has been the absolute worst.

Pity meee!! Lol, I'm just kidding. Anyways, enjoy this chapter and please leave me a review. Sorry if it sucks, I had to do it all in about two hours since I typed it in the library.

* * *

Deidara POV:

I waked slowly to the wooden door of Tsunade's room, hesitating before warily knocking on the door. I thought to myself about what was so damn intriguing about this psychiatrist. I mean, they all look the same here, right? It's just another psychiatrist dressed in complete white, which, in my point of view, is quite annoying, and their hair is always up in some way or form.

I suddenly heard a stern "Enter," that told me to come in.

Without a second thought, I quickly comply to her command to come into the room and shut the door behind me. She was across the room facing the wall in a chair. I see some blond hair sticking out on the sides a little from the back of it, and she motions her hand for me to sit down in a chair in front of her desk. I sit down quietly, waiting for the woman to finish whatever she was doing. It was probably paperwork of some sort, and she seemed quite busy, with papers piled all over her desk and books stacked on chairs and tables.

I could now see that her blond hair was parted into two small, loose pony-tails. She turned around and set her work down on her desk, adding to the ever-growing piles of paper and then faced me, a perky little smile on her face.

"Ah, hello Deidara."

I'm paying no attention to what she's saying. All I can do is stare at her chest, which was abnormally large. I thought that boobs could only get so large, but I was obviously wrong.

_'Daammnn.'_I thought, my eyes probably as large as her boobs, _'Get a look at that rack.'_

She continues to talk, but I realize that I can't take my eyes off of her massive chest. I think she wore a V-neck shirt on purpose because while she was talking, she would bend down and back up, making them jiggle. What was worse was that she wasn't wearing a bra, so when she did bend down, it revealed just about everything that was to be revealed. I eventually forced my eyes off her chest and into her brown eyes.

"... so to make it short, I just want you to tell me about yourself."

I say nothing, not able to find any words to say. She stood up off her chair and over to me and sighed, "Here, I'll start. I'm Doctor Tsunade and I've been working here at Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital for about a year now as a replacement. I enjoy working here very much and seeing children here such as yourself. Now, I'd like to hear something about you."

"... Isn't my life pretty much all written down in that file you were reading just a moment ago, un? Not to be rude, but that was what you were doing just a second ago- reading about my life and judging me."

She sighed, "Wrong answer. Please," she kept her voice the same as it was; calm, "tell me about yourself..."

I still say nothing. She smiles sweetly, "We have all day."

I rolled my eyes in my head and unwillingly speak. "My name is Kanagawa Deidara and I am from Iwagakure."

"Go on..."

"... That's really about it, un."

She jotted something down on a piece of paper on the desk and moved back to me, "So, Deidara, tell me why **you** think you're here."

Why do I think I'm here? Because every one seems to think that I'm some psychopath or something else within that range.

I answer differently, "Uhm... Because I'm not... normal?"

She jots something else down on the piece of paper and changed the subject, "So, I heard that you where somewhat of a pyromaniac."

A small smirk crosses my face, "... I suppose you could call me that, un."

"So you like fire then?"

"Well, un, it's not really the _fire_that I like... It's really explosions and such..."

She writes something down again and then turns back to me, "Okay, now I'd like you to tell me about your family life... Do you like your parents?"

Again, I say nothing. I don't want to tell her about my Father and more importantly, I feel that I _can't_tell her. It's like something inside of me won't let me speak- my mouth opens but nothing comes out. This feeling makes my stomach churn and makes me feel like throwing up. What I said to Sasori-danna about the past being the past and nothing more was merely a bluff, because right now, it seems like I couldn't even tell her my Father's name nevertheless what the bastard used to do to me on a daily basis.

This time, she said nothing to make me speak. She merely stood there next to her desk, the paper in her hands, with that annoying smile on her face. That smile that every psychiatrist has here that makes you want to slap it right off their face. The smile that was much worse than speaking or telling me to do something, because it just sat there, unmoving on her face, tormenting me and mocking me.

I looked down from her mocking smile and stared at my hands. They were trembling and shaking uncontrollably, and I couldn't make it stop. I looked back up at Doctor Tsunade.

Silence. Complete and utter silence. She said nothing and I said nothing. But she didn't need to speak, her smile said everything, and what made me absolutely mad, was the fact that she _knew_her smile drove me crazy. How could she not?

To stop myself from losing what of me was sane, I continuously open my mouth to say something, but no words come to mind, so almost immediately I close my mouth again. Instead, I put one of my shaky hands on my arm and dig my nails deep into it and look at my fingerless glove, trying not to lose control.

... Pointless. Actions.

That's all I've ever done my whole life. Father's been trying to tell me. I now know this. I'm the same kid I used to be ten years ago. I can't do anything more but pointless actions... That's what I'm doing now, and that's what I always did- I'm worthless.

"Please, un..." I say, my voice as shaky as my hands, "I really don't want to talk about it... Not now, un..."

She finally said something, but the smile was still there, "Did your father ever-"

"No," I say abruptly and coldly to Tsunade, not looking her in the eyes.

"Your Mother told me that he used to do stuff to you-"

"No! Just shut up!" I yelled, my voice as shaky as my hands.

But despite my yelling, she continued on, as if I said nothing. "What did he do to you, Deidara?"

I made a futile attempt to shut her voice out by covering my ears with my hands.

"Shut. Up." I hissed through clenched teeth.

"What was worse? What _he_did, or what your Mother _didn't_do?"

I abruptly stood up from the chair, knocking it over as I did so.

"Leave me the fuck alone!" I scream loudly at her. I would continue to speak, but I impulsively put my gloved hand into a fist and hit her desk, knocking off the many piles of paper and onto the floor. I then stomp out of the door, infuriated.

I start my way to my room, but I realize that I have no Earthly clue where the hell I'm going and on top of that my vision is so blurred that I can hardly see straight. All I can do is stumble my way through the hallway and hope that either I find my room or some one finds me. All the while going through the halls, I have what she said to me going in a loop in my head.

"_What was worse? What he did, or what your Mother didn't do?"_

... Really, to tell you the truth, I don't know what was worse...

* * *

Sasori POV:

I'm sitting in chat therapy, they called us in for it after Deidara went to talk to Doctor Tsunade, and for reasons unknown, all I can think about is the said blond boy. All I can do is wonder about what happened in there with Doctor Tsunade. The first time I talked to her, I wanted to beat the living shit out of her. Deidara's only been here for a couple of hours and he already had two psychotic breakdowns that I know of, and to tell you the truth, he seems more unstable than me. He's had two less than me, but of course I've been here a couple more months than him.

Practically every one here in chat therapy is reluctant to talk, including me. Fortunately, it wasn't my turn yet. It was Tobi's turn, who didn't seem able to focus. Not that that was not normal for him, but for some reason he seems to be focused on Dei.

"So, Tobi, how has your day been so far today?" the psychiatrist asked Tobi.

"Great!" he answered happily, "Tobi had the pleasure of being able to meet some one new today! But... He got mad at me. And then Hidan got mad me too... The boy seemed like he would've been nice though. You see, Tobi got his gender confused and so did every one else, so Tobi thinks that he has a reason to be angry."

"Oh, what's his name?"

"Ooh, ooh, Sasori told me that his name was Deidara!" he says a little too gleefully.

The psychiatrist turns to me, "... Where is Deidara, Sasori?"

"Uhm... He was talking to Doctor Tsunade last I heard..." I answered back to her.

"But," she started, "Doctor Tsunade had a meeting ten minutes ago, and she should have dismissed Deidara already, and he should have been led her by a psychiatrist by now..." there was a short pause, "Here, I'll phone her."

I nodded as she picked up the talking device from her shirt and held down button number four, most likely Tsunade.

"Hello, Doctor Tsunade."

There was a short pause.

"Have you released Deidara yet?"

Another short pause.

"Oh, really? Okay... Would you like me to send some one to get him?"

She nodded, "Alright then. Good-bye Doctor Tsunade."

She pressed the button to hang up and clipped it back on her shirt then turned to me, "He left in the middle of their conversation and she said that he was quite upset. She was about to call some one to go get him, but she's be extremely busy. So, Sasori, would you mind trying to find Deidara for me and bring him back here?"

Do I want to? No. Do I have to? More than likely, yes. Oh well, at least it's an excuse to leave this dumb-ass class.

I sigh inwardly, but cover it up with a small, but fake, smile, "Sure."

She nods, "Alright. Go ahead then."

I walk to the door and leave, having no clue where to even start looking for him. I turn to my left, unsure, and the turn to my right. I doubt he's in the art room again. I think that he's smarter than to go back in there... I sure hope he hasn't done something again.

"I guess I'll go to the... Left." I say to myself, turning down the hall.

I walk down the hall silently thinking. I wonder where he would have gone... Or better yet, what she said to make him upset. It's not that hard for her to piss you off, I know that for sure. When Grandma Chiyo dumped me in this place, that was one of the first things they made me do here. Of course, I was already pissed off that she abandoned me like that and the last place I wanted to be was here, so her questioning my past just put the icing on top of the cake. She pushed me to the point that I had an outburst similar to my previous one, except I caused almost as much damage as much as Naruto could do himself.

Speaking of Naruto, I don't know where he is either. Ever since he went ballistic and knocked the shit out of Sasuke, they've kept him out of everything. He wasn't in our chat therapy conversation earlier and I didn't see him at lunch, either. Of course, we had our own fight going on at that time.

* * *

Deidara POV:

My vision got so bad that I had to sit down against the wall. Right now it's alright and I can see okay, but I still don't know which way to go. I haven't found any one to help me find my way around this place, so I just decided to wait until some one finds me.

My thoughts are suddenly interrupted by some one's hand touching the back of my shoulder. Turning around, I see a head of short blond hair and two bright blue eyes. A smile graced his features and I realized that he had something on his face that appeared to be whiskers.

"Hey, are you new here?" he asked me.

I didn't know him, and I don't know if danna has ever said anything about him either. "Uhm... Well, I guess you could call me new, un. I..."

"I thought so," he laughed a little, "You look really lost."

I started to get up from the floor and off of the wall, "Yeah," I said scratching the back of my head a little and slightly laughing.

"Say, what's you're name?"

"Oh, I'm Deidara, un."

"Nice to meet you!" he said, taking his hand out to shake mine. I look at his hands for a moment though, almost unsure of what he wanted. I guess I'm not used to much normal human contact, especially since I have mouths on my hands, so shaking hands is something that is almost alien to me.

I shake his hand back with my gloved hand.

He smiled again, "My name's Naruto, by the way."

Naruto? Hmm... Wasn't that the kid that danna and that nurse were talking about before? The one that had an outburst in the art room? The nurse said that he made a big ruckus, but right now he seems completely normal.

"So, where-"

"Deidara!"

The blond boy and I both turned around to the calling voice only to see my danna.

"Oh, Sasori. I was looking for you, actually."

He walked up to us, "Yeah, I was in chat therapy and the nurse talked to Tsunade and she said that you left early from your conversation."

"Yeah..." I said a little nervously.

"So, you've met Naruto?"

Naruto looked at me and then back up at Sasori, "Yeah. I didn't know that Deidara knew you..."

Danna just smiled a little.

"... You seem strangely, dare I say, happy today, Sasori."

His smile instantly turned into a frown, "No. I just came by order to get Deidara... So, let's go. We have to go to chat therapy."

Naruto smiled, "No, that's not it at all. You were smiling."

He blushed a little, "I'm not smiling."

"No, but you _were _smiling." he said with a wide grin.

"Let's. Just. Go."

I sighed as Sasori and I began to walk forward. Naruto went in front of us and started talking to us walking backwards.

"Yeah, and you're just oh so excited to get to chat therapy why?"

"I'm not. I never said I was... I just don't want to get in trouble is all. If I get in any more trouble I might have to stay here with you freaks longer."

Naruto started to laugh, "Sure, Sasori. Whatever you say."

Sasori pushed Naruto behind him to where he was in front of us.

"Damn right whatever I say." he said under his breath.

* * *

**Please leave me a review!!! It'll make me feel so much better! **


	7. Paranoia?

Sorry it took me a while to get this here. I feel so bad. I say that because I really have no reason to not have had this written and on FF last week. I just sat down and tried to get words down, but my mind could not think of a thing to type. So, I thought that instead of just pulling some shit out of my ass and writing it down that I'd wait until I could at least think of something to write. It's a little rushed at the end, but I got it here and that's all that matters. lol. Well, enjoy and please review.

* * *

Sasori POV: 

Staring across the circle of chairs from where I am sitting I see Sasuke and Naruto. Sitting next to Sasuke is Hidan and then Kakuzu, me, the brat, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, Itachi and lastly, Gaara. Of course Sasuke is giving death glares across the room to Itachi whereas he looked as if he could care less. Tobi is bugging the hell out of Deidara, while Zetsu looks like he is seriously contemplating eating Kisame. Which, I don't blame him, saying as he looks like and thinks he is a fish. Plus, I'd like to see _something _happen in this place.

Tobi poked Deidara gleefully, "Tobi thinks that they'll talk to you next."

I could tell that Deidara was trying not to get too annoyed, but it was definitely not working, "Shut up, Tobi."

He looked hurt, "Why is that a bad thing, sempai? I want know how you got here..."

"That's none of your- Wait... Why the hell are you calling me that, un?"

I literally laughed. Now _this_ is what I call amusing. Really, the brat kind of deserves this. He calls me danna, so he should be called something annoying too.

"Well" Tobi started, "Tobi thought that since you-"

Suddenly the psychiatrist walked over to the group, catching every one's attention- besides Itachi. She got a new chair and set it out of our circle, right behind Tobi and Deidara.

"No, Tobi, We're not going to question Deidara today." she said, as if she was listening to our whole conversation. "Actually, we're going to talk to _you_ some more. I tried to earlier, but you didn't seem very cooperative."

Tobi made a whining noise behind his mask.

The psychiatrist merely smiled and gently reached out towards Tobi's mask, "Why don't we start with taking off this mask you wear."

He quickly swiped the woman's hands away and gripped a tight hold of his mask while leaning back in his chair, away from the woman, almost in fear.

"Don't take it off!" he cried out.

She smirked, knowing what his reaction would be, and jotted it down.

This is a perfect example of what happens here. It's all routine now. Deidara just hasn't been here long enough to know what really happens here. But it's simple. The psychiatrists tests our weaknesses and writes down the reaction. How this helps, I have yet to find out. So if I am seriously here to get cured, I highly doubt it's going to happen soon.

* * *

Deidara POV: 

She looked up from her paper and at Tobi with a weird smile on her face. "Why can't you take off your mask, Tobi?"

The way she was staring at all of us frightened me. Especially her smile. All the psychiatrists' smiles are weird and creepy, but hers especially. She didn't even have a reason to smile. Tobi actually looks afraid of her. I mean, I've never seen him not all happy and bubbly. He hasn't even been talking in third person. He's actually referring to himself as "I".

"You can't take it off, can you? Would you like to tell us why, Tobi?" the psychiatrist pushed.

"I can... I-I just don't want to take it off."

She wrote something down for a second time, just like Tsunade did. "How come you're not talking in third person, Tobi?"

Tobi started to back away from his chair and closer and closer to me. I looked at Sasori for help, but he just looked solemnly at the floor. Looking around the room, I could see that every one was doing the same. By seeing this I realized that they have all been questioned and been pushed like this week after week. I felt sorry for Tobi, because I knew what the feeling was like when Tsunade did this to me... And I know that it will happen to me again in the future, and there will be no way of escaping this sadistic questioning.

"Well," she began once again, "how about we start with something a little easier."

He began to back off from me and onto his chair. "... O-okay."

"Tell us about the main reason for you being here, Tobi."

"... I can't tell you that... Besides, you already know that."

There was a short pause.

He looked at me for a moment and then back up at the psychiatrist. "And that would ruin my- Well... What I've been planning."

At that moment, just about every one shot up from their miserable stance of looking at the floor, and their eyes landed on Tobi. For once, the psychiatrist looked bewildered, as was the many of the patients in the room; I included.

"What exactly have you been planning?" she asked, confusion written all over her face.

Snickering could be heard coming from Hidan. Soon after he mumbled under his breath sarcastically to Kakuzu, "What, she doesn't know about his incredible plan for Deidara."

I glared at Hidan. What? His plan for me?

"What did you say, Hidan?" the psychiatrist said. It's amazing how she hears everything going on.

"Oh, it's nothing." he laughed, "It was just some retarded "plan" he was talking about... You know Tobi."

The psychiatrist looked at her watch as she stood up from her chair and walked over to the door, "Well, it doesn't matter now anyways. Our session is over and it is now my break."

Bitch, she doesn't even care about us. She only cares when she gets paid to care, and now that it's her break, she doesn't _have_ to bother with us for another second. Oh well, I can't say I really wanted to stay in this hell-hole another minute.

Tobi was the first one to rush to the door and leave, Sasori soon after. When I came to the door, it seemed like every one else wanted out the same time I did. Hidan, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and I were trying to get through the door at the same time, resulting in us pushing one another to get out.

As soon as I was out of the door, I rushed to try and catch up with Sasori, but he seemed to have disappeared. Looking around, I saw every one else but Sasori and Tobi.

Suddenly a sweaty hand was placed on my shoulder. Slightly frightened, I turned around to see who it was. Red hair revealed to be Sasori.

Almost relieved for it _not_ to be my father or any other "hallucination", I swiped his hand off of my shoulder.

"Eww." I said, sticking my tongue out in disgust, "You're hand is sweaty, un... And disgusting."

"You're one to speak," he shot back, half-amused, "Your hands are always covered by those gloves!"

"I like these gloves, thank-you-very-much."

He poked at my gloves in a playful manner, "Only because you're a girl, after all."

"Well stop flirting with a beautiful little girl like me, danna, un." I said, winking my eye.

He blushed slightly, "Don't flatter yourself. You're the one that calls me _'danna'_ anyways."

I put a face on of mock-hurt, "You don't like it when I call you danna, un?"

"I love it as much as I love being here." he said sarcastically.

I opened my mouth to speak, but was suddenly interrupted by a gloved hand on my shoulder. What's up with people touching my shoulder?!

"What the fu-?

I turned around and saw Tobi. As soon as I turned around, he released his hand and started twiddling his thumbs.

"Uhm... Excuse me, but we have a free hour until dinner and I was wondering if I could hang out with you two?"

Something about Tobi seemed... Different. He didn't seem like he normally does... First off, he was talking like he did in chat therapy, which isn't normal for him. And second, his tone of voice didn't seem quite right... I didn't know if it was just me, but he didn't seem like the same Tobi.

"Uhm..."

Sasori cut in, "I have to go talk to Tsunade. But you feel free to talk to Deidara."

He turned around and gave me a smirk and a look that read "Haha". I cursed under my breath as I looked at Tobi and offered a pathetic smile, "Sure, why not, un."

* * *

Sasori POV: 

I laughed aloud to myself. I left him there with the person that annoys him the most. Now he _really_ gets a taste of what I've received during his time here, the little brat. And he even accused me of_ flirting_. How can he say that when he's the one calling me danna. Besides, I'm not _gay_. And he's one to talk. What kind of straight guy has long blond hair?

But what I said wasn't a lie. I do have to talk to Tsunade. But it's only going to a quick "check-up" she said. So, it shouldn't take as long as it did for Deidara.

I walked up to the door of the doctor and knocked on it. There was an immediate answer to my knock from the woman, so I quickly came in.

"Hello, Akasuna Sasori." she greeted.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

She smiled, "Well I can see you're in a good mood today."

"Can we just get on with this?" I said, slight annoyance in my face.

"I just wanted to check-up on you and see how you've been doing. The psychiatrist said that you've been making slight progress, but had a break-down the other day. Why is that?"

"I already told you." I said blankly.

She was confused, "When?"

I sighed, "I've told you many, many times before; I want out of this place. Dying is even better than staying in this damned place."

She wrote something down. "Do you say that because you have no friends?"

"No," I began, "I'm just sick and fucking tired of this shit. Asking questions that have been asked a hundred times, yet the answer is written down on fucking paper. Some of us aren't crazy... We're just troubled."

When I said that it made me think of what the blond said to me the first day that I met the boy.

"And besides," I added, "I already have a friend."

* * *

Deidara POV: 

"G-great." he said shakily to my reply.

"... What's wrong with you, Tobi?" I asked, not sure what was up with him.

"Me? Oh... Nothing. I, uhh, just don't feel great is all... Really."

Oookkayyy... Something is definitely not right here.

"So... What do you want to do, then, un? There really isn't anything to do here, is there?"

"I was thinking we could go to my room... or yours. I don't really mind which."

He doesn't _"mind which"_? ... Something is wrong here. I don't really know Tobi that much, and what Hidan had said in chat therapy earlier bothered me. Whether he didn't seem like he could do much or not, there was just something that- in the bottom of my stomach- told me not to trust him. A part of me thought that this was just because of my Father and how he created a feeling of distrust to people. Nevertheless, I nodded and simply said, "Sure."

The walk to his room was even more awkward then him asking me to go to his room. Through the short walk, Tobi would fidget and make noises... It was weird.

He walked into his room first, and I followed soon after. Being the paranoid person that I am, I stayed close to the door. I'm not sure what good it would have done if anything were to happen, but it seemed to make me feel immensely better.

Suddenly, Tobi grabbed my wrist and started moving me to the side, away from the door. Alarmed, I tried to resist for any source of touch by shoving my arm away from his hand.

"... I-I'm just answering the door, Deidara... Some one knocked."

I nodded, not quite sure how I missed hearing some one knock on his door. Nevertheless, when he opened the door, some one was there. It was the blond boy, Naruto.

"Hey, Deidara." he greeted, "I was looking for you and you weren't in your room or Sasori's room, so I thought that I'd check in here..."

I shook my head, still questioning how I didn't hear him knock, "Oh hi, un."

"One of the psychiatrists sent me to tell you that you have a visitor."

"A what?" I asked, not quite sure if what I heard was correct.

"Yeah, I thought it was a bit earlier for you to have a visitor too. But don't question it. It's not that normal for people to get visitors."

"Do you know who it is, un?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "I don't... Sorry."

I nodded sheepishly, "It's fine. I was just curious is all."

"Well," he started, going out the door, "Follow me, then."

- - -

About five minutes later we were at our destination. There was a line of about three little cubicle-type thing where there was a clear screen and a telephone- like in jail. I didn't know that they were that strict here with their visiting restrictions.

Through the clear glass I could see a silhouette of a person sitting down. As I walked closer, I realized that it was Kaikou sitting in a chair next to the phone.

* * *

Sorry for any mistakes and please review! 


	8. Lies and plans

Hey! I thought that I'd surprise every one with a really early chapter! I was so happy with my reviews that I thought I'd just write this really fast and post it, since I already knew what I wanted to happen. Anyways, it sort of short, but it has a lot of important stuff in it. Enjoy and review!

* * *

Deidara POV: 

I walked slowly and warily to the cubical where- on the other side- Kaikou was sitting. He picked up the phone on the side of the little booth as I sat down on the other side. Awkwardly, I reached to the phone and picked it up, putting it up to my ear.

"Hello Deidara." his voice said flatly.

The man that I, unfortunately, have to call my father, had the same facial expression as he always has around me; a look that was close to being stoic, but had a anger undertone to it. He had bags under his eyes that made his face look older than it was. What can I say, the man was probably doing some one else on the side.

"... What do you want?" I said, getting to the point. Really, it wouldn't have mattered. Kaikou wasn't the type of man to make idle chit-chat; especially with me.

"You don't seem happy to see me here." he said, almost as if he were proud of it. He laughed a little, "I can't say I don't blame you."

"Anyways," he continued as I sat there with a blank stare, "I came here to talk to you about an "accident" that happened a couple of years ago."

I was confused, "... What accident?"

"Oh, I'm sure you know about well about this accident, Deidara."

After a moment of silence, he continued, "Your mother... She woke up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. She told me after much crying that she had a very vivid dream of you."

I froze in my seat, and my arm began to turn numb as well as the rest of my body. She couldn't have told...

"Don't act like you don't know. She spent the rest of the night crying about it. But, you know as much as I do that it wasn't an accident; you were fed up, weren't you?"

I began to speak shakily, "I didn't mean to... I mean, I didn't _want_ to. I... I-"

"Don't tell me that you loved him Deidara." he said coldly, "You hated him... You hated him as much as you hate me being with your mother-"

I cut him off. "It's true that I hated him... I hated everything about him. The fact that he thought that he owned me. The fact that he could do anything with me and act like everything was fine afterwards when the truth was that it wasn't all right at all! But at the same time... I loved him. I didn't know why I loved him after he did the shit that he did! But that day... He just pushed me too far when he did what he did to _he_r!"

"Wait..." he said, his face with a hint of confusion and anger, "he never did a _thing_ to Niaka! I know that he did stuff to you, but don't you _dare_ say he did something to her! You lying little brat."

My face was instantly filled with hurt, "You mean... She didn't tell you the things he did to her? The reason why I killed him?!"

"She merely told me the truth; that you killed him out of hate, and that she merely encouraged you to kill him so she could be with me." he said with a smirk.

My eyes instantly filled with tears at what he said. How could she have said that? She didn't... She couldn't have...

"You're lying!" I cried out, "She would never had said that! If she did, you're forcing her say shit that isn't true just like him-"

"Stop feeding me bullshit, Deidara! You know as I do that he didn't do anything to her at all. You're just trying to make yourself feel better for what_ you _did... You're just like your father."

I hit the clear screen where he was sitting, make him jump back a little.

"I'm nothing like my father." I said through clenched teeth.

Kaikou began to sit up from the chair, "Who are you trying to convince that to, Deidara? Me or you?"

* * *

Sasori POV: 

Walking out of Tsunade's office, I wandered down the halls, wondering where the blond boy was. He wasn't in his room, and he sure as hell wasn't in mine. Not sure where else to look, I found myself in front of Tobi's door.

I put my hand up to knock on his door, but I was suddenly stopped by the sound of talking:

"What do you want me to do, Tobi? I don't even know the guy, nevertheless Sasori!"

I didn't recognize the voice speaking, but then a more familiar voice began to speak after a short moment of silence.

"That's a lame-ass excuse." It was Tobi's voice. "Then _get_ to know him. I have Zetsu getting some information, but he hasn't been doing a very good job. There is also something that worries me; Hidan said something earlier about my plan. I don't think that this will be a threat to me because there's only two people that know what I am capable of- You and Zetsu."

"Yes," the unknown voice spoke again, "I will try to get to know him, but I don't know how open he-"

Tobi cut him off, "Wait... I think I hear some one."

Shit! How could he have hear heard me? I am being completely still, for Christ's sake! What should I do? I don't have time to run off. I'll have to stay here.

The door suddenly cracked open, but only left the door ajar, "What do you want?"

I stared at Tobi for a second before answering, as if my throat was cut off. Think Sasori, think!

"Oh, hey, Tobi." I said, " I just got back from Tsunade's office and, uhm... I thought that maybe Deidara was here?"

"No." he said immediately. "Here was here, but left because he had a visitor. Now, if you'll excuse, I am sort of busy."

I sighed in slight relief, "Oh... Okay then... Talk to you later, I guess."

Without saying another word, he shut the door in my face. I swiftly walked away from his door and tried to contemplate what I over-heard the two talking about. Something about me and Deidara... Mostly Deidara, but I heard my name as well. And who was the other voice? And more importantly, should I tell Deidara what I overheard?

While asking myself these questions, I walked in silence to the visitor area. I wouldn't be allowed in there, of course, but I could wait outside the door for him. I don't really have anything else to do anyways.

When I arrived to my destination, I was surprised to see Deidara already there. He looked like he was staring into space.

"Hey, Dei." I greeted.

He didn't say anything to me. After a while, I expected him to say something back, but he just stood there. I waited a little, and after a few moments of silence, I decided to say something else.

I waved my hand in front of his face. "Hello??"

He jumped, as if I scared him. "Oh, sorry... You scared me."

"I've been here for a while... What's wrong?"

He didn't seem right. In fact, he seemed far from alright. His voice was low, almost as if he were scared or embarrassed. And his face was ghostly white... And the thing that I noticed the most were his eyes. They were dull and glazed-over; his eyes were life-less.

"... I just received a visitor, is all... I guess you could say I'm not very fond of my... My _father."_

* * *

I told you it was short! lol. Well, most of this stuff will be vital information and stuff for future chapters. I don't know when I'll make the next chapter, but it should be up some time next week. Anywho, please review! Your reviews really encourage me and make this story worth writing! Thanks for all the support! _  
_


	9. Is this seriously the title?

It took longer than expected, but the chapter is here, and it's longer than the last one. It took me a while for it to get here because I wrote something, and I was completely unhappy with it, so I had to just rewrite it completely. Needless to say, I am much happier with this than the other one. Although, the ending may be a little shocking. In fact, I was shocked that I actually put the idea in there. I just conceived the idea one night and laughed about it, but impulsively put it in the end. lol. So, I hope you enjoy it! It was a bit rushed at the end, but whatever.

* * *

Sasori POV:

When Deidara spoke, it was almost painful for me to listen to him. He didn't seem very talkative, though, after he received that visitor- or his father, as he had said. By the way he talks, voice quavering and low, I could tell he was definitely not happy to see him. I can't say I don't blame him, though. When I first received a visit from Grandma Chiyo, I was borderline pissed off.

I remember that day as if it were but a couple of days ago. But it's been at least a year since she has visited me, I'd say. It's partially my fault that she hardly comes to see me, though. I guess I suppressed my feelings for a while, and then when she finally came to the Hospital, I just let it all go.

* * *

**Flashback **

* * *

((It's not in Sasori's POV or Grandmother's POV))

An apologetic sigh could be heard, a maternal voice accompanying it. "I'm sorry, Sasori," the voice called out from an old wrinkled face with weathered lips to match. A female, around her late 70's or early 80's, was sitting in a chair in front of the young red-head. The old woman, obviously truthful about her feelings, was suppressing her tears as the young boy before her- her _grandson_- spoke.

"That's a lie!" Sasori spat in anger and rage, "If that's true then don't leave me here! They trusted you to take care of me! Not to dump-"

The old woman couldn't bare her grandson speaking to her like this for another second. She was tired of sitting there, taking blow after blow from the fiery red-headed boy, no matter how true his words were; "I can't take care of you any more, Sasori! I'm an old woman, and I'm not growing any younger! Your parents were foolish to think that an old senile woman of my age could possibly take care of a suicidal teenager such as yourself!"

"Suicidal?" he repeated, giving a mock-laugh in response, "I'm sorry, but how am I suppose to act when both of my parent's have been assassinated?"

The grandmother's face instantly softened at his words. She truly was sorry for leaving him in an institution for his reaction of his parent's death. Taking it into consideration of how he witnessed the murder himself, it would be a common reaction, but it was for his own good to stay with professionals to give him the needed professional help. And if she lost her Grandson, too, she didn't know how she could live with herself. It'd be too much for her old heart to take.

When the grandmother gave no response, the red-head turned his face away from her, as if disgusted at what he saw. "I hate you," he stated.

* * *

** End of flashback **

* * *

I replayed the scene in my head, almost wishing that I could take back those words I said to her. I was just angry that she left me here by myself, especially after both of my parents had died in such a grotesque way. I felt betrayed by her, such as I was by many, and didn't want to see her again. Whether I still want that or not, I got what I wished for, and only God knows when I'll see the old woman again.

But unlike me, Deidara didn't seem mad at all. Not angry in the least bit. By looking at his sullen expression, I would say that he was sad. No, he was beyond sad; he looked depressed.

I could sense the boy's melancholy, but there was something else about the blond I noticed- something weird, different- and I couldn't help but want to know what he was feeling.

I move closer the blonde, worried, but I stop, gazing into his eyes. His cerulean eyes had a sadness in them, but within the sadness, there was a sparkle in them that confused me. I realized that we were moving closer and closer to one another, and I try to move away, but I can't. I seem almost drawn to him. Now, looking farther into his eyes, I notice the love in his eyes. Without realizing, our mouths are very close together. I can feel his breath against my lips as we move closer, and I continue to search his eyes, trying to understand this feeling.

But we're cut short by the sound of feet walking down the hall. I immediately retreat from out odd stance, and look to see who the sound was coming from. It was Tobi, and new boy I didn't recognize. I didn't know who he was, but I definitely knew that it was some one to be wary of.

He had piercings. Many,_ many_ piercings. He had two in each ear, like a female, but instead of normal silver or gold hoops, it was black and gothic looking. But what took ones' attention the most was the two big black piercings on his nose. They weren't hoops or like anything I've seen before; they seemed to be big, three-inch or four-inch piercings that went all the way across his nose.

It was not only his appearance that gave me this feeling; he had a strange presence to him. A presence that seemed to be filled with anger and grasped all attention. But despite the feeling of hatred that seemed to radiate off the boy, he seemed to have a mask on- a friendly smile and attitude. Both of them.

"Hi Deidara-sempai." he said, his tone of voice was the way it used to be, which confused me. Especially after what I overheard... Is that the boy that he was talking to? Maybe they're planning something? Or maybe I'm just paranoid.

* * *

Deidara POV:

My mind is flooding with emotions and thoughts. One second I'm pissed, then I feel betrayed, and then I'm about to make-out with danna. Now, since Tobi came in, with a stranger I might add, I'm beyond confused. What was weird was that Tobi was acting normal... which is, well, weird. I mean, he was acting strange before, and now he's suddenly acting like everything is fine. I laughed inwardly to myself; that sounds like me, in sorts. But, deciding not to question it, I went along with his happy-go-lucky attitude once more. I mean, this _is_ a psychiatric institute, after all.

I raise my hand in a greeting-type gesture.

Tobi looked at Sasori for a moment, but then quickly gestured towards the aforementioned stranger. "This is... a friend of mine," he said, purposely not mentioning his name.

I offered a weak smile, a mere perk of the lips. "Hey... Uhh... friend-of-Tobi," I said, not quite sure what else there was to say. I mean, I know nothing about this... boy. Besides the fact that he looked not at all friendly. If not dangerous.

Sasori walked up from where he was, and closer to me. I looked at him- he had a look of distrust on his face. I don't know whether it was Tobi or the other boy.

Though the boy, I noticed, looked much older than I, or even Sasori. He looked seventeen, at least. If not older than that. I found myself wondering why he was in Vanderbilt.

The older boy smiled, although I would hardly call that a smile. It was a smirk, at the least; "Hello Deidara," he looked towards Sasori, "Sasori."

I looked at Sasori for a moment. How the hell did he know our names? I wanted desperately to ask, but instead, I shake it off and look back at the pair of boys, offering a awkward smile. But I saw Sasori glared at me, and his eyes read a message that said he didn't want to talk to these two much longer, but it looked at if they had other plans.

Tobi's friend smirked as he began to speak, "Tobi and I where wondering if you and Sasori would like to enjoy your meal at our table,"

This didn't seam like a question or request. More like a command.

I open my mouth to speak, but Sasori talked for me, "I'm sorry," he started, a fake looking smile on his face, "but Deidara and I had something _planned_. Isn't that right, Dei?"

I was confused, but I covered up the confusion- of tried to, at least.

"Yeah," I replied giddily, trying to smile, "I'm terribly sorry, un."

"Oh," the older boy replied simply, his smile faded away..

Tobi began to elaborate on his part, in a different tone of voice than before. "What is it you're doing, then?" he pried.

Sasori merely smiled and calmly- and quickly- can up with an answer. "Doctor Tsunade said that since Deidara is new here, she'd like for him to have lunch with her in her office. Deidara said he'd accept her offer, but only if I cam as well."

Tobi chuckled slightly, knowing what he said was a lie. "Alright then," he said, his mask was faced in my direction, "if you are finished faster than expected, you know where to find us."

Sasori nodded his head, and I followed suit. To that, Tobi and the boy just turned around and walked off towards the lunch room. Almost immediately, I looked towards Sasori, trying to find an answer.

"You'll see. Just follow me." he said, answering my unasked question.

* * *

Sasori POV:

The confusion written on Deidara's face was priceless. It took all I had not to just roll on the floor with laughter right then and there. But I walked on, a confused yet obedient Deidara following behind me.

"We're not going to just go out and confess our feelings, right, un?" he asked, obviously referring to our "moment" from before.

I laughed, "No," of course that question wasn't serious, "But I do have something planned."

I turned around to him, my voice suddenly serious. "But I have to make sure I can trust you, Deidara."

Confusion sounded in his voice. "Okay?"

I turned back around and continued to walk, "I'm just making sure, is all. What we're about to do- if you want to, that is- is not something taken very lightly by the society. So if they found out here, only God knows what would happen."

We continued to walk on in silence. I decided to let what I said sink in, and let his confusion gnaw at him until he couldn't take it any longer. Apparently, it didn't take to long for him to get impatient.

"Danna!" he whined, "Where are you taking me, un?!"

"We're almost there, brat." I said in response. "Don't rush me."

He sighed and huffed all the way until we got there. Which, really, didn't take that long. It was, maybe, two minutes to get to my destination; a big gym. The gym was past it's due date, with a layer of dust on the floor and decorated with dust-covered weights on the gym floor.

I smiled, turning around, "And here we are."

He had no smile on his face, just sheer confusion. "What... the hell?"

This only made me smile more, and I started to laugh aloud as I walked down the gym, looking at the tiles on the floor, searching for the right one.

He made an attempt to stop the silence; He had mock surprise on his face, "Oh this is just oh-so romantic, danna," he said sarcastically.

Not saying a word, merely smiling, I searched the floor. After a few more moments, I stop, finding the right tile. I bend down on the dusty tile floor, and pick at the side, beginning to pick the tile up through a small crack. I lifted it up, and tossed it to the side. Putting my hand where the tile was, I picked up a small box and put the tile back into place.

The blond, now more confused than ever, watched me attentively as I began to walk towards the bleachers, hopping up the rows and rows of seats, probably where they used to hold basketball games and such, until I reached the top to sit in the far right corner, away from the door. He followed, of course, as I began to open the box gingerly.

I stopped suddenly, and looked up towards Deidara. "Now, before I open this, I have to make sure, that no matter what circumstances, you cannot tell anyone about this."

He quickly nodded, "Alright, alright. Just open it already, un."

Grinning at his inpatient-ness, I opened the box all the way.

The blond instantly smiled ear-to-ear. "No. Fucking. Way."

Smiling, I took the prize out of the box, handling it as if it were a queen's.

"How the hell did you manage to sneak **pot **into a psychiatric hospital??"

He laughed, "You, my friend, are fucked up, un."

* * *

So what did you think of that ending? lol. Did you laugh at it, too? I thought it was funny, but I had to put it in there. I will update soon... Then again, I always say that. But, your reviews definitely help this come faster. I know I don't always reply to the reviews I get on this story, but, I know I said this more than once, but it helps me write this! So please review!

Shikirou


	10. Big Red trip

I fail as a fanfiction author... and a person. I promised an earlier chapter, and I do the exact opposite. I'm terrible. I really am. I haven't even posted the second chapter to the other story I just _had_ to write. I am a bad, bad person.

But anyways, I was going to make them smoke joints, but I decided that I wanted them to smoke through a bong instead. Don't know what it is? Look it up really fast. It works faster than joints, and it's just as easy to share. Yes, I do smoke pot. Don't like that? Deal with it.

Oh and, for the record, what Sasori has to do to smoke the pot actually happened to me. I'm not even joking. lol.

* * *

Deidara POV:

Sasori grabbed the box, and carefully extracted its contents. He carried out a small bong, a bag of weed, and a lighter from the box, and sat it down in between the two of us, who were sitting atop the bleachers in the institution's old, not-used-since-the-late-80's gym. I watched tiredly as he filled the bong, but then he suddenly looked around the gym as if he forgot something.

"What is it, un?" I asked him when he started to walk down the bleachers.

He laughed dryly, "I don't think I have any water to fill the bong with."

"What about the water fountains in the hall?" I offered, having no other useful information.

"Yeah," he began sarcastically, reaching the bottom of the bleachers, "I'm sure I can just bring a bong into the hallway and no one will notice."

"Well, what other plans do you have to suggest then? Hmm?" I asked, rolling my eyes at his sarcasm.

He walked under the bleachers and came back up after a few moments, hiding something behind his back. When he came back up he flashed a can of Big Red in my face. "Makeshift water," he said with a lop-sided grin.

I laughed, "Big Red, huh? Have you ever actually _tried_ this before, un?"

He sat down and began to pour a small amount of the soda into the bong, "No, but something tells me it's going to taste _really_ fruity. I know it'll work, though. I mean, a liquid's a liquid, right?"

"Sure, sure." I said, grinning.

He was about to light the bottom of the bong, but stopped. "Do you know how to use a bong, right?"

I stopped smiling. I've done weed once or twice before, but no, I've never used a bong to get high. I only smoked a shared joint with one of my old friends when I was in school, but not a bong.

Understanding my silence, he lighted the bong to show me.

"It's simple. But, you always have to remember, never blow into the bong. Breath it in, and blow through your nose when your done."

He put his mouth on the top of the small bong, and cupped a hand around his mouth as he breathed it in. He pulled the bong away from his face, and exhaled, smoke coming from his nose.

He handed it to me, "Try not to cough, alright?"

I nodded, and put the bong up to my face as he lit it for me. I breathed it in a deep breath, and pulled it away from my face, trying to mimic Danna, and breathed it out my nose.

"Wow, it does taste sorta fruity, un."

He offered a small grin, "Doesn't taste half as bad as a joint does. That's why I chose a bong over a joint. And not only that, but two or three hits and your pretty well off. But, I only want you to do it twice, though. I don't want you to get stoned, or else everyone else will notice."

"Does that mean your stoned all the time then, Danna?" I said jokingly, "I mean, you always _look_ stoned, but I wasn't sure if you actually-"

"Shut up, brat. You're lucky I even _trusted_ you enough to do this." he said sourly, snatching the bong away from my hands.

I just smiled at him as he took another hit from the bong.

He handed it back to me after a couple of seconds, looking already a bit high.

"Just. Two." He reminded me, pronouncing each word separately.

I rolled my eyes again, and took my second hit from the bong.

I handed it to him again, and half expected him to put it up, but instead he lit the bong again and inhaled.

"Hey!" I said, play-shoving him, "I thought you said just two!"

He exhaled and laughed, "I said that you can only do two, but I'm used to this. And besides, we haven't snapped the bong yet. I don't want to waste any."

I laughed at his "I'm used to this" line. "So I'm right then. You_** are **_always stoned!"

"Oh, shut up." he said, more playfully than last time, while putting up dumping the rest of the unused Big Red.

"Fuck," I said suddenly, making Danna look at me.

"Hmm?" he asked, his eyes dragging.

"I'm hungry, un."

He smiled, "Don't worry. That's normal."

He was referring to the pot.

"I haven't eaten in like, two days. The only thing that has calories in it that I've consumed is that Big Red. But, that doesn't really count, un."

"Well... I guess we can still eat from the cafeteria. There's probably still people eating." He paused, "I think they're serving pepperoni pizza... Damn, that sounds good."

"I don't want to get up though..." I whined pathetically. Why is it that I'm _really_ hungry, but I _really _don't want to get off my ass to actually get the food? Can't the food just teleport it's way here? That'd be so much more convenient... And reasonable.

"You realize that you actually have to _get up_ to eat, right?"

Sarcasm.

"Can't you just bring it here to me?"

"Yeah, they'll never notice me sneaking two pizzas from the lunch room."

More sarcasm.

He suddenly grabbed my hand to pull me off my ass and onto my feet.

"Come on, brat. I'm not going to let you get high with me anymore if you're going to turn into a lazy lard."

"Is that supposed to frighten me or something?"

"The longer you stay here, the more it will."

* * *

Sasori POV:

Deidara is amusing when he's high. He's deep in thought and quiet. Not that I'm not when I'm high, but it's definitely more interested to get high when you have some one to do that with. I've never actually done that with anyone else. I've never had many friends, but after my parents died, I lost all my friends, and my life. In fact, getting high was my life. Acid, pot, and even ground up morning glory seeds, anything to get me high. The only thing legal I did was that gave me a "buzz" was Kratom, but, compared to other drugs I tried, that isn't even much of a drug at all. Kind of like Opium, except more addictive, and still completely legal.

"This is the best pizza I've ever had, un." Deidara suddenly announced to me, his mouth full.

"It is pretty damn good." I laughed, agreeing with him.

"It's crust is crisp and crunchy and the cheese is all melted and gooey and greasy. Delicious, un."

I quickly eat the last of my pizza, Deidara before me. I get up to throw my foam tray away, Deidara following suit.

"Where do we have to go after this? Will they be able to tell we... You know...?"

I shake my head slightly. "Naw, I doubt they could tell. The smell should be gone by now. The smell doesn't stay like cigarette smoke does. I think we're good."

"Good, un."

"And I think after this they said we had to watch a movie or something..." I say, starting to walk out the door.

He gave a pathetic face and a whine escaped his lips.

"But I don't want to watch a movie-"

"We still have an hour until then, because it doesn't start until 2:00. It's only one right now."

"Then are we going to go back to the gym, un?"

"How about we sneak into the art room?" I suggest.

Art sounds perfect right now. Just what we need. And I know that he won't say no to this; he said so himself he liked art, and I'm somewhat interested to see what exactly his art is. Not only that, but I can show him _my_ art.

He smiles, showing his white teeth, "That sounds awesome, un."

* * *

Short chapter, uneventful, I know, I know. I'm really sorry. Feel free to tell me how bad an author I am. lol.

OHOH. I had an idea to.

Whoever leaves a comment on this first, can have an "extra scene" made by me at the end. It can be anything, as long as it won't completely change my story. But, if you got the first comment, YOU HAVE TO SEND ME A PRIVATE MESSAGE TELLING ME SPECIFICALLY WHAT YOUR REQUEST IS.

Sorry for mistakes, too. I didn't have to go over it much.

And leave comments please! I appreciate them!

- Shikirou


	11. AUTHORS NOTE!

AUTHORS NOTE:

I am going to update soon, I tell you!

I have the rest of this week until school is out, and then I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE there will be a new chapter, and I will update as soon as I can during the summer. Hopefully, my updates will last no longer than two weeks, but this is just talk. But still, I PROMISE there will be a new chapter coming in about a week or two. And if that doesn't happen, then let almighty forces set me on fire and fall into a pit of deadly, venomous snakes which will bite me over and over and let me lay suffering in horrible pain for weeks until I slowly faint and be in a coma and die by my own vomit.

... Not that that's weird... or anything...

Yeah, ANYWAYS, the chapter shall be coming soon, so do not fret!

And while you're waiting (This is just a suggest -winkwinkwink-) for this story to update, why don't you read my newest SasoDei story, which is also AU, Opus Dei and leave me a review!

Lawl, you don't have to, but it'd definitely be nice.

-- Shikirou


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